Feels Like Home
by Emo Bangs
Summary: The guys all have their own ways of remembering their homes back in Minnesota, but their favorite would always be each other. OT4 established relationship.


Over time, each one of the guys experienced an extreme case of home-sickness. True, they had made a decent living in LA, but it was nothing compared to their homes back in Minnesota. Long list short, it was the frequent snow days (which included playing in said snow, snowball fights, snowmen), all of the familiar faces (their neighbors, the workers down at the market), and, for three of them, family. The 4 of them were like brothers in a way; they had their own makeshift family but sometimes it just wasn't the same.

When James thought of Minnesota, he missed his parents. Usually, it was more so his dad than his mom but never the less, he felt a void where his parents should be. Being 17, there was still a lot of knowledge to be bestowed upon him by the people that brought him into the world. Mama Knight was awesome; she was an amazing parent, especially to take on caring for three kids in addition to her two own. But sometimes, he wished his dad was there to give him advice on relationships or his mom was there to share his appreciation towards his appearance.

When his mind wandered back home, he also missed being the most attractive, most driven person in town. Some say it was a conceited thing to declare, but James didn't particularly care. Because it was true, and he had the guys to back him up on this. They _were _a little biased but him being driven, there was no doubt about that. Not many people had the motivation to get out of their small town. James, however, knew from a very young age that he would get out of Minnesota, one way or another. He never expected to _miss _it though.

When he felt like this, he found himself going to the gym. It was the one place where he could better himself and in turn, _feel _better about himself. It was a method of coping with the hustle and bustle of LA; everyone was so beautiful and talent, that it was sometimes hard to keep up. This was James' way of dealing with being away from his hometown.

When Carlos thought of Minnesota, he missed his family. His parents, his brothers, his sisters, his cousins, aunts and uncles. It was safe to say that they were an extremely tight-knit family. In fact, that would be an understatement. They had dinner together every single night; the making of dinner was often a big production, with everyone taking a part. Afterwards, Carlos would play with his younger siblings, helping his mom with bath time and getting them in bed. Often times, he'd read them a story or sing them to sleep. There wasn't a single aspect of home that he _didn't _miss while in LA.

When he recalled his home back in Minnesota, he also longed for the reckless shenanigans they used to get into. Whether it was running around the parks, skating on frozen over ponds or their annual day of pranks, they were always doing something that could potentially get them in trouble. And Carlos wouldn't have it any other way.

When he felt like this, there was only one destination he had in mind. Seeing as he couldn't go back to Minnesota at the drop of a hat, he instead wandered off to the park. There was something reminiscent of his hometown while he was swinging on the swing. He felt like he was five again, trying to swing high enough to see out of the town. And sometimes, he could.

When Logan thought of Minnesota, he missed his mom (though he never wanted to admit it). He missed the dinners the two of them would have together, whether it was take out, or going out. While he loved all the guys, Mama Knight and Katie, there wasn't often intellectual conversations taking place. From time to time, it was fun to watch him James and Carlos fight with their dino nuggets or to watch Katie try to manipulate her mom into buying her, or letting her do, something dangerous. It was a nightly ritual for him and his mom to pick a different topic of discussion to hold over dinner. He especially missed when she would help him with his homework afterwards. In LA, most times _he _was the one helping the others with their homework.

When his childhood home came to mind, he missed all the memories that can attached to it. He didn't want to forget them, but often times, being away from the source of them made them hazy in his mind. He could remember the dinners his mom and him shared, but it wasn't as clear in his mind without being able to see his mom standing in the kitchen. He could recall all the memories of his father before he passed away, but there was a sense of blur washed over these memories from being so far away. He could remember the wagon racing he and Carlos would participate in, James and Kendall being their judges and spectators. But it was difficult to see the steepness of the hill, or to feel the wind in his hair.

That's why when he reminisced about his home, he went to the LA version of this hill. It wasn't anything like the hill back in Minnesota; it wasn't even a "real" hill. But it was the closest he could get in LA. Sometimes, it bothered him that it was just parking garage but when he closed his eyes and pushed off with his feet, he could feel the cool Minnesota air in his hair and see himself rushing down the hill. In a way, it was almost like being back home.

When Kendall thought of Minnesota, there was one and only thing he missed. Simplicity. When they were all back home, there was no over-thinking, no pretending. They could be exactly who they were and no one would bother them for it. It didn't really matter. But in LA, it was a complete 180. Everything was so different. One wrong move and they were in the tabloids, being taunted for their scandalous relationship. When in reality, he just wanted to be with the guys without any questions asked.

He missed being able to kiss Logan to shut him up from some math rant; he missed being able to affectionately smack James' ass when the boy was possessing a little more vanity than usual; and he definitely missed being able to hold Carlos' hand to reign in his extra energy.

Whenever he felt the severity of this ache creeping up on him, he went to the only place in LA that could quell these feelings. And there were only three people who knew exactly what and where this place was.

That's how the guys knew exactly where to find Kendall whenever he went "missing." When he wandered off without a call or text, when he just left in the everything, the other three guys would travel the half hour to go find him. And it was always the same.

The three of them laced up their skates, fingers tying the laces so easily, like muscle memory rushing back from throughout the years. Without a single word, they made their way onto the ice, dodging and weaving around all the people skating around. They finally caught up to Kendall, hearts warming to see the fond smile on his face at the sight of them there.

And while they couldn't kiss him, or hold his hand to reassure him that things were still the same, they could take solace in the fact that some things would never change. They'd always be far away from their homes back in Minnesota, but they'd always have their home within each other and the little treasures they discovered every day in LA.


End file.
